the present me and my former bff

So there's this girl I used to be best friends with until some incident (seemingly childish now) caused me to stop speaking to her. It has been almost five years since we've spoken, even though she is a friend on myspace. Then one day, she hits me up asking if I want to meet her for lunch so we can catch up...now I'm very skeptical about doing so because once I cut people, I don't bring them back. Anyways, we end up going to red lobster and talking for hours, about the usual, school, boys, and watever else.

Since that day, she's been texting me and asking for advice about some problems she's having in her life. To be honest with you, I kind of regret going to lunch with her. It was cool to see how she was doing but it reminded me of some personality traits that I don't particularly care for in a person. We are opposites in terms of confidence, self-esteem, determination, and strong will. It reminded of how weak a person she is and I'm in that place anymore to carry her and her emotions. Now that we have had some time to grow up and grow apart, I can see things that I was unable to as a child. There was a reason why I was the outspoken one doing all the talking. There was a reason why I had so many more friends but also able to feel content without having them. It's because I am comfortable in my own skin. It's because I don't mind embarrassing myself in front of strangers. It's because I didn't need the approval of others to feel accepted or to feel as if I was somebody.

I've got more than enough confidence to give to another and a very thick skin, but I cannot give someone confidence, I cannot make them believe in themselves, and I cannot make them feel good in their own skin. Honestly, I don't have the time or patience to deal with it either. If this makes me a mean and insensitive person, then so be it. But I don't think being a person's crutch or holding their hand helps them grow either.

Maybe one day she will become a stronger person then maybe we could be friends again, but until then I don't associate with people that I can walk all over or allows others to walk over them.